Leaning Into the Uncomfortable
Hope’s story of serving with one collective
hope trainor
2022 Intern in Cowley, England
One Collective is a global, Jesus-centered nonprofit that focuses on a holistic, sustainable approach to ministry and development around the world. Over 250 staff serve in various communities on the ground, and any given year around 30-40 interns join established teams to join in the work happening. If you’re interested in serving with One Collective, talking to a serving coach here.
Hope knew she wanted an international internship in college, and felt confident she knew what she was getting into when she decided to go. However, much of her experience was unexpected - in the best way possible. Below are Hope’s thoughts on what she learned about ministry, relationships, and herself in the two months she lived in Cowley, England with One Collective.
What was a problem or issue you faced before interning with One Collective? How did your internship impact it?
“I am a go-getter . Before my internship, I had a tendency to get too involved in pretty much everything. I had a daily schedule where every hour was planned out, and if something ran over, it would mess up the rest of my day. I was proud of my productivity level, and I thought it was a point of pride to never say no to anything. I didn’t foresee this being a problem when I first said yes to an internship with One Collective. When I arrived in Cowley, I expected a very similar, structured schedule. I thought the Catalyst, Lola, would have every single thing planned out for me and the other interns.
But when we met for the first time, Lola instead told us, “I want you to do what you feel you have been gifted to do. Whatever you feel your gifts are, I will help you use them.” In addition to participation in the existing ministries, she encouraged us to pursue a personal project based on our own passions. I hadn’t thought before about where God had gifted me - I just said yes to whatever was in front of me. Lola has created space for us to reflect and breathe. My internship helped me understand the value of a “no” and that it can ultimately enrich what I’ve said “yes” to elsewhere. At the start of this new season, I was given the chance to lean into the reflection of my passions, gifts, and calling to choose my yes’s and no’s wisely.
What surprised or challenged you about your internship experience?
Having the open space to decide what to do, and what not to do, was a big challenge for me. I wasn’t used to it. But the “in-between times” held some of my favorite moments. It was really hard for me to learn to be still, but ultimately, the times of practicing how to be still were some of the richest moments of my internship.
Another challenge was exercising my muscle to choose and discern - discerning how God gifted me and created me. Rather than doing things because someone else had asked me to, and out of a desire to be valued by them, I was challenged to take hold of my value in Christ, seek what he was leading me to do, and be open to what is mine to do versus what is something I could do.
What did you learn about yourself while you were serving and living in Cowley?
“There were three things I learned - huge perspective shifts - that still impact me today.
The first shift in perspective was my view of ministry. Growing up, I’d been involved in helping at my church, packing food boxes, helping out at homeless shelters, etc. I thought I had a pretty good idea of what serving was about. People told me that they saw the spiritual gift of service in me, so I thought I must be pretty good at it. During my internship though, Lola would talk about how the entire ministry of Jesus was built on relationships, and it made me realize I had been viewing ministry mostly through a “project” focus, rather than a “people” focus.
The second thing that shifted was my perception of self. I had viewed ministry as transactional in large part because I didn’t believe I had any inherent value myself. I believed that people were friends with me only because they were receiving something from me and not because I had my own value. Lola pushed me into my journey of exploring who I am: a daughter, warrior, leader, and servant. She impacted my personal and spiritual growth, and continued to emphasize that I was beautiful and had value both in God’s eyes and in the eyes of those around me.
Finally, my view of relationships shifted. Building deep relationships while in Cowley made me realize that I had only viewed relationships before my internship as transactional. I assumed they were based on what I did, not who I was, which prevented my relationships from going deep. My internship and Lola’s mentorship taught me about transformational vs. transactional relationships. Transformational relationships mean acknowledging the value of both people in the relationship, you and the other person. That was the piece I was missing. I loved my friends, family, and others around me, but until I was able to realize that I too could be loved for my own God given value, my relationships were limited.
How has your internship continued to impact your life?
When I returned to college after my internship, I engaged differently in some of the same things I was doing before, such as leading the prison ministry. I brought back with me a new, more relational approach to everything I did. In my personal life, I started to see relationships grow in so many ways that they hadn’t before.
I’m continuing to learn how to be intentional in seeking out the voice of God, who He created me to be, and how He’s calling me to grow. I can see my own value and worth through the eyes of Jesus. I came back from my internship with a new recognition that God has created me beautifully, wonderfully, and with a passion.
Before my internship, I was always looking for the ‘next big thing’ - I would always be asking “what’s next God?” instead of “what do you have for me now, God?”. Through my internship, I learned to look for God in the mundane, and create space to be open to what God has for me in the everyday. That decision to be open has not gone to waste - I’ve seen God move powerfully in the everyday, and I’ve realized that nothing is too small for God to use in great ways.”
What advice or thoughts would you share with someone who is interested in serving but isn’t sure?
I know everyone has a different walk and story - but I would honestly tell you to just go for it. Even if you don’t feel like you’re called to “long-term” international ministry, if you step out into the uncertain and unfamiliar, God will appear in ways that you haven't seen him before.
I know a lot of people are worried about stepping into something uncertain - and what might go wrong or be difficult. I would challenge you to make a list of all the things you’re worried about, and then make another list of all the things that God could do. Weigh those things together - and ask the question “If I go, what could God do?” When weighing the options between our fears and God’s plans, it’s often evident that we have nothing to lose. If you could only take one piece of advice away, it would be this: don’t say no to an opportunity like this out of fear.
If you give God even two months of your life, in a new place, in a ministry with people you’ve never met before, he will meet you there.”
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